Neutralizing Shitbag Email Marketers
Most people know that the Internet is filled with activity perpetrated by the lowest forms of life one can find, at least in the moral dimension. A good amount of people are part of that mass as well. Approximately 100% of those people end up living in the real world and if you’re a city-dwelling individual, there’s a high chance you’ve passed by many of them in your lifetime. Furthermore, some of these life forms are well-educated, well-dressed, and self-aware of this trait. They seem to spend a lot of time trying to justify their existence and I’m sure many live a care-free and guiltless life of relative prosperity and freedom when they’re not at work.
Of course, when they are at work they are most likely watching Google Analytics all day with short breaks of browsing business networking sites, waiting for new people to exploit, whether that’s people to turn into product or consumers onto which they hope to offload that product in exchange for the funds they need to continue their overpriced lives.
Eventually that product is used in the commission of a service, whether by the composite character I may be depicting or a similarly parasitic millenial. The days when a Carl Brutananadilewski-looking individual living in Central Europe handled this stuff are probably a long time ago and they may not be coming back.
This service is typically the attempt to turn that product into sales. This means sending mass emails, the subject of this entry. Since they’re probably only well-educated in the trade of manipulating people, not things, they are most likely to eventually use a major commercial service named after a Simian or a euphemism for Harassment and give them money in exchange for the actual interesting work associated with this racket, despite the fact that you can set up a highly performant and private system for doing this work in a few days with much less long-term cost and much more customization. But this requires 2 things: integrity (willingness to admit who you are and specifically why you have somebody’s email address on a marketing list) and some basic technical ability to build and run the software.
What I’m stressing is that these people are so incompetent but probably get to live lives that are largely under their own control for some reason. To take advantage of this when it is true, one probably needs to use the “update your preferences” (or equivalent) link in these emails and when presented with the web page form with the opportunity to give these designer-bearded and manicured troglodytes more accurate information about your self. By more accurate information, I mean put words that insult them and change your email address to something that points back to someone in the trash-spewing pipeline. See the attached screenshot for an example of such behavior.
These idiots frequently get away with exposing all of their data fields on the people they’re tracking to the people they’re tracking. It’s probably a good idea to make their lives a bit harder.